🎲 Roll for Pun-itiative

Gather your dice and prepare your charisma checks, because things are about to get pun-derful. Whether you’re a seasoned dungeon master or a level 1 bard who still thinks a mimic is something your little cousin does, one thing is universally true across all campaigns: dad jokes are the true endgame boss.

Yes, even in the Forgotten Realms, no one is safe from the mighty force that is a poorly-timed, groan-inducing pun from someone who hasn’t updated their joke book since THAC0 was a thing.

So grab your +2 groan resistance amulet, and let’s descend into the pungeon…

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🛡️ 17 Dad Jokes About Dungeons & Dragons

1. Why did the rogue get kicked out of the tavern?
   Because he couldn’t hold his stealth.
2. My wizard cast “Detect Thoughts” on me.
   He said it was like scrying into the void.
3. Why don’t orcs use elevators?
   They always take things to the next level… violently.
4. How does a bard apologize?
   With harp-felt sincerity.
5. What’s a gelatinous cube’s favorite pickup line?
   “Hey baby, are you encumbered? Because I can carry you.”
6. I told my party I was multiclassing into dad.
   Now I have proficiency in groan weapons.
7. Why did the paladin bring a ladder to the dungeon?
   Because he heard evil was on the rise.
8. Why did the warlock quit his patron?
   Too many contractual hexpectations.
9. What’s a beholder’s favorite TV show?
   Eye, Claudius.
10. Why did the dragon start a podcast?
    It wanted to spit hot fire.
11. Why did the barbarian fail his perception check?
    He thought “Insight” was a type of rage.
12. How do you calm down a raging owlbear?
    You tell it to beak kind. 🙂
13. Why don’t DMs make good stand-up comedians?
    They’re always hiding their best material.
14. I tried to romance a lich once.
    Talk about dead inside.
15. Why was the cleric bad at hide-and-seek?
    He kept divining everyone’s location.
16. What’s a bard’s favorite type of armor?
    Chained melody.
17. What do you call a goblin who makes bad jokes?
    You, dad. 🙄

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🎤 And That’s a Wrap (of Elements)

Whether your alignment is Lawful Groan or Chaotic Snort, there’s no denying that dad jokes and D&D go together like critical fails and frustration. The next time you’re around the gaming table, unleash a few of these terrible treasures and watch as your party members roll… their eyes.

Now go forth, brave pun-slinger, and may your jokes always be initiative-taking, your timing legendary, and your DM mildly annoyed.

You’ve completed this article. Gain 500 XP in Charisma (Dad subclass).